In memorandum

I've had a lot of thoughts and emotions since I woke up at 10am yesterday to a text message informing me of Jack Laytons passing. I find it surreal that due to my inconsistency as a blogger only four posts ago I explained why I voted for him. On many levels Laytons death feels like a death in the family, as a person who came of age in the new millennium it feels as though he's always been around. He expanded his party's relevance within the nation exponentially without compromising any of the things it stood for. He helped Canadians across the nation to see that a country is only as successful as it's least successful person, that a nations survival depends on the ability for all it's people to survive. He was a populist and a pragmatist who seemed as approachable as that teacher you had who always had the classroom in stitches and who always came across as more of a friend than an authority. With Layton you felt if you saw him you could just go say hello and start a conversation. He was a multi linguist and brilliant mind who never lost touch with the people he came from. In the eighties as a city councilor while everyone else was trying to make sense of the new gay cancer he was doing everything he could to help it's victims. Down in the states meanwhile Reagan hadn't yet acknowledged it's existence. Layton was pragmatic, he knew tax cuts to the rich would hurt the poor more so than services to the poor could hurt the rich. He believed that no matter your income you deserved access to the highest quality healthcare and education the country could offer you, that no one deserved to go hungry or cold. He believed women, gay, transgender people, ethnic and religious minorities were not something for the country to tolerate but rather what makes the country's heart beat. He wasn't a perfect man but he tried with everything he had in him to stand up for the mandates he was given. He was relentless in fighting for what he knew to be right. He had integrity, a quality rare in humanity and almost non existent in politics. The world lost one of it's strongest voices of reason, may his voice never be forgotten. May his party carry the orange torch high in his memory.

A month to the wedding

With all the political activism in new York complete I find myself about a month away from my wedding. My nuptial hour draws on apace/ but oh how slow the old moon wanes. Don't get me wrong we have plenty to do (and spend on) between now and then. We severely limited our guest list so that we could afford to do something nice for those we did invite. We focused only on those who have been firm supporters since we came out in our families and friends we've known for several years. This means our wedding will be intimate and full of support. We are having an eleven am church service at the metropolitan comunity church presided over by reverend Pat Bumgardner. Reverend Pat has been performing spiritual ceremonies for gay and lesbian couples since the seventies and has been at every protest for marriage equality in new York she could possibly make. Shes a rockstar in the movement and she's marrying us. We will exchange rings designed by a close friend Ashley Stevens, shes brilliant and you need to look her up on etsy. We will also go through the Greek Orthodox tradition of Stefana, a ritual crowning involving two crowns tied by a ribbon. The crowns are blessed then placed on the couples heads crowning them as joined by god the crowns are then interchanged over their heads by an attendant and they are led on a procession around the alter. It is the (pardon the pun) crowning moment of an orthodox ceremony. After the service were going to a French bistro for a private brunch. A friend Jennie Mouio is making our cake. In the evening were having a very casual ( read plastic cups) cocktail party which will be broader, all our local friends who we wanted at the brunch but had to be pragmatic can come wish us well and have a drink or two. Us, my uncle and mother mother will make food to put out. Researching weddings it was very herd to find advice that wasn't bride centric and or, from our perspective overblown. For us the wedding is about being with loved ones, and joining our lives,everything else is secondary. I can't wait to be married. Then it will be time to work on DOMA so our marriage will still exist when we leave the state.

a video of the efforts to marriage equality

I fell in love with Robert right at the beginning, I knew he was the one. He made me laugh like I'd never laughed, he was never predictable and to this day constantly surprising me and showing me there is even more to him. I love this man. On September twenty fourth of this year about sixty of our closest family and friends will sit in the pews of the Metropolitan Community Church of New York where I attend service and watch as Robert and I promise to love honour and obey eachother until death do us part. Then if the senate does the right thing we will sign our marriage license issued by New York City and the reverend Pat Bumgardner will submit it. We will then be introduced by her as married to these same family and friends. Both of us had complex journeys in our lives we come from faith traditions that would not perform same sex marriage. We were taught homosexuality was a sin. Our journeys to self acceptance and self love were also complex so being able to stand before everyone in our adopted home and has tremendous meaning for me.

I have therefore spent every moment I had spare in Adabbos Queens district talking to the people there about what same sex marriage means to the gay and lesbian new yielded who so desperately crave it. I literally implored people supportive of my rights who felt they were too busy to ca Adabbo to call him. I used my cell so they didmt have to use their minutes. Call him they did. When he declared his support for marriage equality he cited 4800 calls in favour of marriage equality compared to 1200 against it. His people spoke and he's going to represent their voices. When he made his announcement I cried, I laughed, I danced and I came to a sense of hope I can only call euphoria. Tommorow I go to Staren Island to talk to Andrew Lanzas constituents, I know they too will stand for justice, I pray for our love to be recognized as valid and beautiful by the state of New York

Why I'm voting for Layton

Ideologically I have always loved Jack Layton. I find him to be the most earnest politician I've ever encountered. It sounds like a contradiction, earnest and politician. He stands for something though and always has. It would be good politics to merge the NDP and liberals but the NDP under Layton understands that the canadian people need a true progressive voice in parliament.

Having said this, this was going to be my first election not voting NDP. I think Harper is worse for Canada then Layton is good for it. I was ready to vote for Ignatieff as a strategic vote against Harper. I told myself the debate would cement it. I would watch the debate ready for Ignatieff to impress me, I wanted him to convince me I could feel good about him as prime minister.

As the debate began I consciously chose to take my beloved Layton out of the running and focus on the Harvard professor. Something interesting happened though, as Harper and Ignatieff did dances around their questions and acted smug and Duceppe behaved like a crazy uncle this little figure with a moustache actually answered questions being asked, offered real solutions to problems, spoke out against the broken senate. He spoke with a respect for Canadians.

I'm not voting for Ignatieff, if I'm throwing away a vote and handing Harper another government that's the risk I have to take, because whether we get a conservative or liberal government I will feel better knowing we at least have a strong new democratic presence. And crazy things have happened maybe this year will mark the first new democratic government of Canada, it will never happen though unless we learn to vote for who we want not against who we don't.